He Didn't Ask, and She Didn't Say
by Dara Tavar
Summary: It's been six year since George and Nora's divorce. And while Edwin has moved on, Derek hasn't been able to. He still wonders if she thinks of him "that way". All chapters are based off of Tim McGraw songs. No longer a one-shot. Dasey!
1. Chap1 He Didn't Ask, and She Didn't Say

**I wanted to write a one-shot but I didn't know what to write about until I heard this song. Then I got the idea for this.**

**I was asked to mention this site though, fanbbs .net. It's a site about fan-culture. I checked out and it's pretty good, since no one has ever done something like it. The creator couldn't find anything like it and when I looked for anything like it, I found nothing.  
**

**I know Fran, you don't like one-shots but you'd better read and review for this...you never know, maybe I'll add another chapter if everyone who reviews likes it enough. I'm even thinking of what the second chapter could be.**

**Well, that's all for now. Enjoy!**

**Dara Tavar  
**

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**He Didn't Ask, and She Didn't Say**

Derek looked up at the screen that stated all flights were delayed. He had to get to Toronto to visit Edwin…who was thinking of asking his three year girlfriend to marry him, who'd been living with him for a year since they'd graduated. There's been a time when he thought it would be Lizzie the boy ended up with. But that had all changed after the divorce.

Lizzie and Edwin had kept in touch for a while, but they'd never been able to get back what they'd had when George and Nora had been married. Nora had moved them to England so that they could be closer to their grandparents, and that sort of distance puts a relationship in jeopardy.

So, one day Lizzie had ended it. She told Edwin that she would always love him, but that she was sure this wasn't going to work out anymore, but she still wanted to be his friend.

Edwin had been miserable, saying that he would never be able to love another as he's loved her…and then he met Crystal. She'd been the only one who was able to pull him back, to show him what it was like to love again. And now he said he'd never loved anyone as much as he loved her, though he knew a small part of him still loved Lizzie, though it was a different kind of love now.

With hair such a light blond it was almost silver and eyes the color of turquoise, Crystal was beautiful. And Edwin admitted that what he'd felt for Lizzie had never been as strong as what he felt for Crystal.

Even though they'd not seen each other since that fateful day six years ago, they were still friends. Every now and then Edwin would get a letter from Lizzie…the last one had had a picture of her new boyfriend. He was tall with reddish brown hair and green eyes, and she was sure that he was the one.

Derek on the other hand, had never found someone to love. No matter who he dated, they were never good enough. A beautiful woman with brown hair and blue eyes would always be there, in the back of his mind, whispering, _"They'll never be me."_

And that would be the end of it. He'd never stayed in contact with her; he'd never even tried to contact her. But the worst part of that was: he'd never told her how much he loved her…not even one time had he said those words to her. And he'd lost her.

Derek sighed and readjusted the strap that was digging into his shoulder. He guessed that he would have to find a different way to get from New York to Toronto…like driving.

"Stranger, how have you been?" a musical voice from behind him asked.

Derek turned around, and was immediately caught off guard at the sight of her face. She looked beautiful, even more so than the last time he'd seen her. Her womanly curves were more pronounced, her hair almost seemed browner, her eyes bluer, and her lips redder, her skin whiter…but no matter what, she was still beautiful.

She moved forward and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him with a smile on her face.

Derek wrapped his arms around her waist and thought of how good it felt to hold her in his arms again. "It's good to see you again." He finally got out before pulling back just so he could see her again, still not quite believing she was there, right in front of him…with a smile, just for him, brightening her face.

Casey laughed quietly, a laugh that had been his, and only his.

They talked for a while, chatting about old friends and old times. But all through their small talk, all that was burning through Derek's mind was, _'Does she ever think about the nights we spent at the lake? Wrapped up in a blanket until dawn?'_ So many times he'd wondered, '_Does she think of me that way?'_

He didn't ask…and she didn't say.

They traded stories about some things that had happened after the divorce. They talked about things that they'd done, and things that they'd not been able to do.

And then Casey pulled out a picture of a little boy, with brown hair and blue eyes. "This is Daniel…he's five now. My mom was watching him while I looked for a place, she was supposed to come today with him Lizzie." She looked into Derek's eyes. "He's my son."

Derek was stunned. Casey had a child…with who? "You're a…mother?" he asked quietly. He looked down at her left hand and frowned. "But you're not married…so who's the father?"

Casey flushed and glanced away, shaking her head.

Derek's eyes widened. "Do you know who the father is?" he couldn't help but ask.

Casey's head shot up and she looked into his eyes. "Of course I know who his father is. I wouldn't just sleep with anyone."

When she said that, they both glanced away. When they'd been told about the divorce, they'd gone to a party and got a little drunk. He'd found out that night that Casey had been a virgin… But in the morning when they'd left, neither of them acted as though it had happened, even though Derek knew it had been the best night of his life, whether he was drunk or not.

Neither of them knew what to say to the other.

Casey looked up at him and sent him a little shy smile. "So the weather's been nice here lately." She stated quietly.

Derek couldn't help but smile at her attempt to bring a conversation back up between them. So they chatted a little more, but the whole time the questions were burning in his brain. _'Does she ever think about those nights around the fire? What about those angels in the snow?' _So many times he'd wondered, _'Does she think of me that way?'_

He didn't ask…and she didn't say.

Then the inevitable moment came. They said their goodbyes and swore they'd stay in touch this time around…but they both knew no one ever did.

But he couldn't help but wonder as he walked away, _'If things had turned out different, where would we be today?'_

So many times he'd wondered, _'Does she think of me that way?'_

He didn't ask…and she didn't say.

He glanced over his shoulder, then stopped and turned around to watch her as she walked away. He wondered again, _'Does she think of me that way? Should I let her walk away again?'_

But he didn't ask…and she didn't say.


	2. Chap2 Ain't That The Way It Always Ends

**Alright, so here's the next chapter. Obviously, I've decided this is no longer a one-shot. This chapter is Casey's and it's about a month after the first chapter. I had a little fun with this chapter...and even though it's a little sad at some parts, I have some joking around in it too to try and lighten the mood.**

**Fran, you've still not read&reviewed the first chapter. I'm waiting. :| I'd better get one soon.**

**Well, that's all. Enjoy!**

**Dara Tavar  
**

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**Ain't That the Way It Always Ends**

Casey walked into the hospital, going straight to her office and immediately dropping her purse on the floor before dumping herself in her chair with a sigh. Rubbing a hand over her eyes, she turned on her computer and checked her e-mail.

There was a new one from Lizzie, along with a picture of Jackson. Lizzie was planning her wedding now…Jackson had finally popped the question after two years. They lived on the outskirts of London now, only a half an hour from her mother's small house and their grandparents. With reddish brown hair and green eyes, he looked more like his Irish mother than his English father. But he loved Lizzie, and that was all that mattered.

Seeing that there was nothing better to do, since she didn't have any patients at the moment, she started a game of Spider Solitaire. She was almost halfway through the expert level when he phone started to flash.

"Dr. McDonald speaking." She stated in a serious tone, holding the receiver to her ear and minimizing her game. After all, she was a professional…and that meant work came first.

"Case," Johnny's voice came from over the receiver. He was a friend of Casey's, also working at the hospital. They'd dated for a while, but had decided not long later that they would be better if they just stayed friends.

And, on Casey's part, it had been because of her inability to move on from the one man she'd ever loved. Oh, she tried to move on, tried to find someone who could be a good father to Daniel. But no matter who she dated, there was always a man with brown hair and chocolate brown eyes there, in her mind, to whisper, _"They'll never be as good as me."_

She'd not seen him in about a month now, and he'd not called her. She wished he would. She sighed and changed it to speaker before setting the phone down, thinking again of Derek.

Casey snapped back to attention when he said something else. "Johnny, what is it? You sound upset…" she trailed off, biting her lower lip and waiting.

"It's Betty! She left me, ran off." He told her, sounding broken hearted. "My blonde haired beauty…she stole my heart in my pickup truck, and last night she drove off in a Mercedes Benz."

"I'm so sorry, Johnny." Casey cooed. She knew that the woman had always had an eye for a man who could spend money freely. She'd had a hunch that the woman was merely using Johnny, but he wouldn't hear it…he'd claimed he loved her and she loved him.

"She looked so innocent when she was talking about us being _just friends_." He stated bitterly. "It doesn't make a bit of sense after what we had…we meant something to each other!"

Casey sighed, a sad smile spreading across her face. "Ain't that the way it always ends?" she asked, sounding just a little bitter herself, thinking about her and Derek's ending, even if they hadn't really begun.

Johnny was quiet for a moment, and when he spoke it was with a little curiosity. "Is that personal knowledge? Or are you just saying that?" he asked.

Casey flushed, looking at the floor even though Johnny wasn't in the room to see her. She didn't want to admit that it was from personal experience, even if she didn't have to tell Johnny about Derek or their 'relationship.'

"He's the reason you never go out with anyone, and even when you do you always break it off, isn't he? I kind of figured that there was some reason behind it…I just never guessed it was because you weren't over someone, I just thought maybe you were afraid of commitment or something."

Casey laughed lightly, with just a little bit of force to it. "I have a son, Johnny…why do you think I would be afraid of commitment?" she asked teasingly.

"If you're not afraid of commitment, have sex with me…right now. Hot, steamy, don't-get-caught-at-work sex. I'll be to your office in less than a minute." He replied without hesitation.

Casey couldn't help but laugh at that. "Sex doesn't always mean commitment you know Johnny. It can just be for a good time, nothing more. People do that all the time and then never call each other again."

"Alright, fine…so it doesn't mean commitment. But it can lead to commitment. I'll admit, I've always wondered what you were like in bed. You know what they say about single moms." He teased. "I can still be up there in less than a minute…"

Casey shook her head. "And here I thought your heart was broken. Am I your rebound?" she asked lightly.

Johnny paused. "People with broken hearts have sex with other people all the time. We wouldn't be the only broken hearted people to have wild monkey sex around here…as long as we're not jumping patients, we're fine. Now, if you'll let me jump your bones…" he trailed off suggestively.

Casey sighed. "Sex without love is…pointless."

"Would it make you more willing if I told you I loved you?" he asked.

She snorted, rolling her eyes. "That would contradict everything you were saying not moments ago." She had to admit, Johnny was good when it came to cheering people up, even if he was the one needed to be cheered up.

"Come on Case…how can you pass up the opportunity to have hot, steamy, don't-get-caught-at-work sex? How can you pass up the offer of wild monkey sex with someone as willing as I? Case, we can keep the pain bottled up inside…but eventually it'll get out. Why not get some good times in there before that wave of depression hits us?" he asked, walking through her office door. He smiled, closing the door behind him.

Casey shook her head, hanging up her own phone before leaning back and watching him as he sat down on the edge of her desk. "Is this what you think about all day?" she asked laughingly.

"Let's think…" he began, acting as though he were really thinking it through. "I think about you and sex…I think about me and sex…I think about you, me, and sex…you, me, and sex here…you, me, and sex on the beach…you, me, and sex in the park…in a hot tub, my garage, my kitchen table, my couch, against the wall, against the door, on the stairs, on the windowsill in my living room, in the shower, on my desk in my den, with you sitting on my sink in the bathroom and kitchen, against the fridge, any other available surface in my house, and if it's not available I'll make it available…with whipped cream and strawberries, with a bottle of chocolate syrup, with fuzzy handcuffs, doggie style, in a tree house, on a trampoline, while going along with the song Colt 45 by Afroman…not including the drugs part…"

Casey's eyes widened with every new suggestion even as her cheeks burned hotter. "You do _not_ seriously think about that all day…do you?" she asked a little uncertainly, cutting him off. "And I thought that Derek was a womanizing cad." She muttered to herself.

Johnny arched an eyebrow. "Who's Derek?" he asked curiously.

Casey's eyes widened again. "Um…no one." She replied quickly, flushing again and glancing away.

"Casey." He looked down at her, looking determined. "You know that I won't give up until you tell me who he is. I'll keep this up all day long, believe me. You know I will."

Casey looked away. "He's Daniel's father." She told him quietly, glancing to the picture she had of her son sitting on her desk…and then to the picture of Derek sitting right beside it, slightly hidden.

Johnny noticed where she looked and moved Daniel's picture, picking up Derek's before she could stop him and standing up as he examined it. Suddenly he spun around, staring at her with wide, shocked eyes. "Daniel's father is Derek Venturi!" he cried.

"Shh!" Casey shushed him, jumping up and running around the desk, making a grab for the picture but Johnny held it out of her reach. "Someone might hear you…"

"You mean no one knows?" he asked incredulously. "But can you imagine what they would say? He would be loved by all! No one would ever treat him badly."

"That's the exact reason I wouldn't tell anyone. Imagine how his life would be if people knew who his father was. He'd never be able to live a normal life because everyone would be gushing over his father." Casey snatched the picture back and placed it on her desk once again.

"How did you meet?" he asked.

Casey pulled out an old family picture, one from a month before the divorce. "My mom married his dad when we were in high school. They got a divorce six years ago…Derek and I got a little drunk when we found out, and things went a little far…I was already in England when I found out I was pregnant…" she trailed off, biting her lip before looking away, ashamed. "I never told him…even when I ran into him a month ago and showed him a picture of Daniel."

Johnny opened his mouth to say something, but the door was flung open and a blonde haired, green eyed woman dashed into the room. She ran straight to where Casey stood with her arms open and eyes wide. She threw her arms around her and cried on Casey's shoulder.

"Shh, Karen…what is it?" she asked, rubbing her friend's back as she tried desperately to calm the woman down even as Johnny closed the door and walked over to place a comforting hand on Karen's shoulder. "What happened?" she asked when Karen's tears had slowed.

Karen lifted her head and allowed Casey to walk her to the couch against the wall, sitting down beside her. "It's Billy!" she sobbed. "He was the only man in my life and he's kept me waiting for two years because he promised we'd get married…but I didn't care how long I had to wait. He was apparently _careless_ last night…because I caught him in _my_ bed with that whore of a nurse from the third floor!"

Casey sent her friend a sympathetic look. "He had a good thing with you…he must have let that got to his head, thinking you'd be there no matter what." She stated.

Karen shook her head. "No, because after I walked in on them he started talking about us just being friends. And the thing is…he looked so innocent as he said it, as though he'd done nothing wrong. It doesn't make any sense when he told me that we were going to get married…but then he says that we can only be friends."

Casey smiled bitterly, just as she'd smiled when Johnny had said almost the same thing to her. "Ain't that the way it always ends?" she repeated.

"They always look so innocent, talking about being just friends…even though it doesn't make any sense." Johnny put in. "As Casey said…ain't that the way it always ends."

Karen sniffed and looked at her friends, one on each side of her. "I just realized that I interrupted you two…were you talking about something important?" she asked, probably hoping to distract herself from the pain.

"Yes." Johnny said while Casey said, "No."

Karen frowned, looking between the two of them. "Well, is it no or yes?"

Casey sent Johnny a pleading look…no one knew who Daniel's father was.

Johnny looked at Casey for a moment before turning back to Karen with a bright smile. "Well, to me it is and to Casey it's not. I was attempting to get her to have hot, steamy, don't-get-caught-at-work sex, or maybe even wild monkey sex here in her office." He informed her, causing her eyes to go wide. "And she asked me…" he trailed off, looking at Casey.

She rolled her eyes muttering, "Womanizing cad…" before turning to Karen. "I asked him if that was all he thought about all day."

Johnny grinned. "And then I decided to tell her what all I thought of all day."

Casey moved back to her desk as Johnny told Karen exactly what he'd told Casey. And she found herself picturing all of those positions…but they all included Derek and her…and she found that some of them sounded a little more interesting if Derek replaced Johnny in the picture than it should have. She sat there, playing solitaire while these little fantasies played through her mind.

But then she had to go back to work…but still, the images were there, leaving her tense all day and wishing that she could go to a home where Derek waited for her.

But he wasn't there…Ain't that the way it always ends?


	3. Chap3 You Get Used To Somebody

**Finally, the next chapter is done. I really didn't want to work on this chapter until I finally started it less than an hour ago...I wanted to work on later chapters. But here it is and I'll try not to take so long with the next one.**

**Dara Tavar  
**

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**You Get Used To Somebody**

He woke up to a gentle brush of fingers across his cheek. It was something she'd always done when they went to the lake and she thought he was still asleep. Of course, he would pretend to be asleep just so she would do it again. But he knew it had to be her waking him up. But when he opened his eyes…

She wasn't there.

Derek sat up, throwing the sheet off and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. Resting his elbows on his knees, he dropped his face in his hands.

It must have all been a dream.

This wouldn't be the first time he'd been awakened when dreaming of her and thinking she was there. In the middle of the night…he could have sworn he woke up to the sound of her breathing.

But there was no one there.

His _so-called independence_ wasn't as great as he'd always said it was going to be. When his dad had still been married to her mom, he would tell everyone that he would give anything to go back and make sure that they'd never met, just so she wouldn't be his step-sister…but not for the reasons he'd always claimed.

He had wanted her as something other than a sister.

Derek pushed himself off the bed as a familiar restlessness descended on him. He knew he was lonely, that he wanted someone, all his friends had pointed it out…but he didn't just want someone, anyone…he wanted her, and only her.

No one else would do.

"I guess you get used to somebody." He mumbled to himself as he moved through his apartment, finding himself in the kitchen.

Even though he'd always claimed that he wanted to be rid of her, he'd always liked having her around. She had been the one person who'd really been able to calm him down…and that was the main reason he'd always picked fights with her. If he fought with her, she would be around him to calm him down later.

He'd gotten used to the way she could make him happy, really happy. He knew she'd always fake laughed with everyone, everyone but him…while he'd always faked being happy, except with her and Marty. But, sometimes he'd had to fake being happy even with his beloved younger sister.

She'd always had a way of cheering him up when he was upset too. When something happened, like when he got grounded for something stupid that he'd never even done, she would cheer him up and sit in his room with him. That was when they'd first started to be friends.

He'd never dreamed that when he let her walk away and never tried to contact her after that, that he would miss her so much. He thought that he'd get over his Casey fetish and be able to move on and continue his life as it had been before her…

How wrong he'd been.

Living without her had been the worst experience of his young life…and he would give anything, really would this time, to have taken it back when he merely let her board that plane and kept his feelings to himself.

But even when he'd seen her two months before, he'd not been able to say anything to her, to tell her how much he _loved_ her…and he'd never loved anyone as he loved her. But counting the _if only_'s was a waste of his time…and he knew time was something you could never get back once you wasted it.

_I guess you get used to somebody_, he repeated in his head, letting out a small sigh as he made himself a cup of coffee. _I guess you get used to being loved_, he added. And he knew Casey had loved him…but as she would love a brother, Edwin maybe, not as anything more…not like he loved her.

He missed their rambling, often times random, conversations where they talked about nothing. They'd just talked, getting to know one another more and more as they went from friends to best friends.

She'd always made him laugh at the things that had frustrated him, making him see the humorous side to it instead of the irritating side. It had always amazed him how she could do it. It was something…_she_ was something.

He should have been more careful what he'd wished for. In the beginning, he'd wished he'd never met her. She'd made him feel things he'd never felt before, made him see things like he'd never seen before…and for upturning his world, he'd hated her…until he realized why she'd upturned it, because he loved her.

Now he had the freedom from her that he'd thought he'd wanted. He had more than that too. He was a famous hockey player, could get any girl he wanted, could play on whatever team he wanted, could live wherever he wanted…but it all seemed to be a hollow victory without her.

He wanted to be able to share all his accomplishments with her.

He wanted her by his side…and not as his 'sister.'

Derek took a sip of his coffee before sitting it down to cool off and walking into his small living area. The first thing his eyes went to, the first thing they always found, was her senior picture. She was wearing a red v-cut tank top, a black see through over shirt, and a black mini skirt.

The picture had been taken outside while she was sitting on a large rock with her feet pulled back a little. The leather boots she was wearing ran all the way up to her knees. The camera had been off to her right and she was looking over at them, a smile on her face.

Derek remembered the moment perfectly, since he'd been right there by the camera man. She'd been smiling at him.

When they'd started walking to where the next picture would be taken, she'd asked him what he thought of the pose. He replied that it was the best one yet…and it was the one she'd picked out for him.

His favorite picture though, one taken after the rock picture, was the one she'd given him as a surprise. In it she was wearing a white dress that when she spun in circles it flared out around her. It was strapless and ended just below her knees. Her hair was slightly curled and falling down her back, a single strand in front of her eyes. Not that she cared, since they were closed and a small smile of pleasure curved her lips.

She was standing barefoot by a rose bush, smelling the single yellow rose on the whole bush. He was standing behind her, an indulgent smile pulling at his lips, while he watched her…his hand was resting on her lower back.

The picture hadn't been planned, but the photographer had liked the look so much that he quickly snapped the picture before either of them had noticed him and had said something or moved from their close position.

They were the only two who had that particular picture.

And it was resting on the stand by his bed so that when he opened his eyes, it was the first thing he saw in the morning.

That was the last time they'd really had time alone, other than the night where his dad had told him he and Nora were getting a divorce. He'd never dreamed that day, that in letting her go with her mother without knowing his feelings and him finding out what hers were, that he would wake up the next morning and miss her as someone would miss air while holding their breath for a minute.

"I guess you get used to somebody." He stated quietly, reaching up to gently touch her cheek and wishing that it was really her standing before him and not just a picture.

_I guess you get used to being loved_, he added to himself as he walked back into the kitchen to retrieve his cup of coffee.


	4. Chap4 Take Me Away From Here

**I looked at the story I'd not updated for the longest time and was surprised that it was this one, I'd thought it was another and had been trying to get the next chapter for it typed up. Well, when I pulled this up, I was surprised (yet again) to find that I'd already had this chapter typed up...so my extended delay on this chapter for pointless, and for that I am sorry. I've been sick all week (and locked up in my house unfortunately and not allowed to leave) and have been restless, wanting out. Because of said restlessness, I could concentrate on working on my stories and there's another reason I've not worked on them...plus my little writer's block.**

**Well, here's the next part...with Casey if you haven't caught on to the pattern yet. Enjoy!**

**Dara Tavar  
**

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**Take Me Away From Here**

His hands slid down her body as his teeth grazed her collar bone. He'd told her that she wasn't allowed to touch him just yet and that, for now, everything was about her pleasure.

She held on to the top of his bed to try and keep her hands above her head as he'd told her to. She knew that if she touched him, with she was tempted to do, he would only restrain her hands by tying them to the bed posts.

With a moan she arched up off the bed and begged him to kiss her once again. She'd never needed someone as much as she needed him. Even when she'd been with someone else, whether they were just holding hands or actually kissing, she'd always wished he'd been the man with her.

Casey twisted, her body on fire, as she lay in her bed. Memories of the night she'd been able to hold Derek close haunted her in her 'peaceful' slumber. When her eyes opened, she felt unsatisfied to find herself lying in an empty bed with her sheets twisted about her and her alarm going off.

When she looked at her bedside table, there he was. A picture of the two of them sat facing her so that when she turned her head, he would be the first thing that she saw. Beside his picture, was Daniel, whose light blue eyes had started to darken even as his hair had started to lighten.

A symbol of the one chance she'd had to change her life and had grasped it…and it had never been the same again. Looking back at Derek's picture she briefly thought about calling him and confessing everything, but doubt clouded her mind. She still didn't have any idea of how he would react.

She thought about all the responsibilities she had now, and her eyes took in the picture of her and Derek. She wore her favorite summer dress while smelling a yellow rose. Derek stood behind her, smiling with one hand placed on her lower back. He wore loose fitting jeans and a button up light blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. It was unbuttoned and he had a white undershirt on beneath it.

"Take me away from here…" her eyes flicked to Daniel's picture, "take us away from here." She whispered into the darkened room. She wished Derek could whisk her away, to make it seem as though they were a million miles away, in a different time and place.

She wished he could make her a different woman, to move her farther than she'd ever been before...to show her that there was something more in this world than just existing, she wanted to live. While she loved her son, she wished his father could be in their lives too…and not as her step-brother as he'd been before, but something so much more.

There were times when she felt like she was trapped inside herself and not even her son could pull her completely out of her melancholy mood. Like wheels spinning but a car going nowhere, going up and down and around and around…but never going anywhere. With no touch, sight, or sound…

"But you could take me away from here." She whispered as she sat up and stared down at his picture. She wanted to feel as though they were millions of miles away from the troubles of life, another time and another place if possible.

She wanted to feel like she was a different woman, to move farther than she'd ever been before…to be proven that there really is something more in this world of money, sex, and fame…that there really was the possibility of finding love in a world as screwed up and with as many divorces as theirs.

"Give me back my hopes and dreams…just to fill my head on those lonely nights." She whispered, reaching out to stroke his cheek in the picture. "Push my heart so I can fly again…just like the night when you gave me Daniel. But, this time, I want your heart too."

She could never really say the words to him, she didn't have the courage. She'd been hurt in the past by guys…but none had held her heart as Derek had. When they first met, even through trying to convince herself that she hated him, he'd somehow weaseled his way into her heart and had never left.

"Take me away from here." Her voice was pleading now. She dreamed of a life with only Derek and Daniel, millions of miles away from the stresses of their world, to a different time and place when life had been so much simpler. With him, she knew she could be a different woman, to go farther than she'd ever gone…to finally see that there was something more to this life.

"Take me away from here." She whispered again, feeling tears sting her eyes as she thought of losing her chance to tell him how she felt those three months ago. She'd tried several times to pick up the phone and call him…but fear had held her back.

And now she may have lost her chance forever. "Take me away from here." She begged the man in the picture again before standing up and moving over to her closet to pull out the clothes she would wear today.

A glance at the clock showed that Daniel needed to be at Karri's in an hour. The woman would watch him until he needed to be dropped off at preschool, and then pick him up and keep him at her little lotion shop until Casey got off work and came to pick him up and take him home for dinner and to head to bed.

She finished getting dressed, deciding on a pair of black slacks, a red tank top, and a black over shirt to pull over top of that. She quickly made her bed before grabbing a comfortable pair of shoes and pulling them on.

After making breakfast and waking up Daniel, she took him to Karri's apartment. She stayed for a few minutes and chatted with the woman.

Karri had blonde hair that was so light it almost looked silver and the lightest blue eyes Casey was sure she'd ever seen. But behind her petite, curvy, beautiful exterior was a loving woman with a keen wit.

And she just adored Daniel, who had started revealing that he had quite a way with the ladies. Casey was sure he would open his mouth and she would find his tongue had turned silver. He'd already revealed that his grin was turning a bit roguish as he got bigger, little by little.

She told the two she would see them later before heading to work.

When she reached her office, she quickly pulled on her long jacket and sat down at her desk to look over the long list of patients that she needed to see today.

After she was halfway through the list she sat down at her desk to take a quick break, Johnny and Karen sitting on the couch in her small office. She'd started to see something resembling a romantic nature forming between the two.

With long black hair and the greenest eyes she'd ever seen, not to mention a body fit more for a warrior than a doctor, she had to admit that Johnny was a very handsome man. But, no matter how handsome he was, she could never get passed the auburn hairs, chocolate eyed man in the back of her mind.

His picture caught her eyes again and she stared at it for a long moment before whispering, "Take me away from here," low enough that her friends never heard. She sighed before looking back at them and rejoining their conversation.


	5. Chap5 When The Stars Go Blue

**Alright, sorry this took a while. I've not been in the mood to write, with Christmas coming up and I had shopping to do as well as going to see Wicked and Star Wars in Concert, I've been busy...Saturday I was busy carving a brain and then finishing a story I've been working on for two years now, last chapter-very emotional. Last night I started working on this but was too tired to finish and I've not been home most of today. But I finally got it done.**

**Well, I have nothing else to say so...Enjoy!**

**Dara Tavar  
**

* * *

**When The Stars Go Blue**

He twirled her in his arms, holding her tight against his chest. She smiled up at him, love shinning bright in her eyes as they danced while the stars went blue in the sky above them.

They danced as the sun lowered in the sky, evening coming upon them before they knew where the time had went. She wore wooden shoes, but didn't complain even once about them hurting her.

Casey even wore a wedding gown.

Derek grinned as they moved, dancing out on Seventh Street now before moving to the underground. She was his, for now and for all eternity. They danced with the marionette.

"Are you happy now?" he whispered in her ear, smiling wider when she laughed and nodded up at him. He leaned down to kiss her lightly, whispering love words as they danced the night away.

Derek woke up to the sound of his alarm. At first he was confused. Where had Casey, his lovely bride, gotten to? Shouldn't this be the morning after they had gotten married? Shouldn't they be away on their honeymoon with no alarms to wake them in the morning?

And then it hit him…it had all been a dream.

He suddenly felt like the loneliest man in the world while staring down at her picture. "Where do you go when you're lonely?" he asked her before standing and moving to his closet to get dressed.

How many times had he tried to call her? To ask her how she was, why she'd never called him, and if she wanted to go out with him for dinner or a movie? More times than he could count.

Glancing back at her picture he sighed. It didn't matter how many times he'd almost called her, what mattered was that he never had called her. "Where do you go when you're blue?" he asked. Her smiling face never revealed any answers; she just kept smiling with her rose in her hands.

When he entered his living room and saw the picture of her on his wall it hit him again just how lonely he was. How long had it been since he'd been able to hold a woman without imagining it was he? Had he ever been able to hold a woman and not imagine it was her, even when their parents had been married? He didn't think so.

"Where do you go when you're lonely?" he asked. Still she only smiled, never saying a word that might help him try and get over her.

"I'll follow you…" he added a moment later as his dream hit him once again, "when the stars go blue." He wasn't sure why the stars had turned blue, but he just remembered that they had.

"Stars go blue…" he murmured, mulling over what it might have meant. He knew it was only a dream and that he shouldn't look into it, worrying over nothing…but he couldn't stop himself. "Stars go blue…" he murmured once again before heading out to work.

After work he entered his living room, throwing his coat down and dropping into his chair. His eyes landed on a picture of when his dad had been married to Nora. It was of the kids playing a board game with Casey, sitting at the coffee table while he sat watching them in his chair.

"Laughing with your pretty mouth." He murmured as he studied Casey.

"Laughing with your broken eyes." He'd never noticed it before, but her eyes were sad, almost as if someone had hurt her recently.

"Laughing with your lover's tongue…" He wasn't sure where it had come from, but it somehow sounded appropriate, sounded right when he was talking about her.

"In a lullaby…" he whispered. His mind drifted to the lullabies he'd been told as a child…the same lullabies that he had been able to hear her telling Marty before going to bed, her voice lulling even him closer and closer to sleep.

He looked back at her senior picture, wishing he could call her. He'd never been insecure when it came to women…but, then again, she wasn't just any woman. She was Casey.

"Where do you go when you're lonely?" he asked. Just like that morning, though, she only stared out at him and smiled, revealing none of her secrets to him.

Sighing, he stood and walked over to the wall, stopping when he was in front of her picture. "Where do you go when you're blue?" he asked once again. He wished he could look into her eyes and discover her feelings…but he'd not even been able to do that when she had stood in person before him those four months ago. "Where do you go when you're lonely?"

Sighing again he moved toward the kitchen, dinner and something cold to drink on his mind. But still, his dream relayed in the back of his mind. He glanced at her picture once more. "I'll follow you." He just wished he could say the words to her face. "When the stars go blue."

Again he thought of the stars in his dream. Bright one moment, then a blue the next. They hadn't been so dark that you couldn't see them in the night sky, but they had turned a light blue.

"Stars go blue…" he murmured, frowning as he crossed to the fridge to look for something to eat.

He'd thought of looking it up, seeing if he could find any reference to stars turning blue but it had been a busy day and he'd not had the time.

Grabbing a cold pop he decided to wait a little while and make himself something to eat in a few minutes…right now he wanted to look that phrase up and see what he could come up with.

Sitting down at his desk he quickly logged on. Waiting for it to go through he opened his pop and pondered the saying once more, trying to see if he knew something about it…maybe Casey had mentioned it one time and it had stuck with him and he just hadn't thought of it yet.

Opening the internet he clicked on the web browser and quickly typed _stars go blue_ in.

When the results popped up he frowned. There was nothing about it that might help him.

_Tim McGraw _jumped out at him and he clicked on it. It was a song…and a familiar song at that.

He'd never been one to listen to a lot of country music, but Casey had. As a matter of fact, Tim McGraw had been one of her favorite singers…and, as he read through the lyrics, this had been a song she'd sing all the time.

He glanced at another picture of her, wishing he could call her up…whether the stars were turning blue or not. With a small, sad smile he picked up the picture. "Stars go blue…" he murmured as he looked at the blue stars behind her.


	6. Chap6 A Place in the Sun

**I'm sorry that's it's been so long since I've updated...I just haven't been able to work on any of my stories for a while. Thanks for your prayers everyone...God answered them, maybe not how we'd all hoped, but he answered them anyways. Thank you all for waiting while I couldn't write...I appreciate that you all have been there for me. Thanks to everyone who sent me messages that made me smile just to know someone was out there praying for me.**

**Well, on to the chapter you've been waiting for now.**

**Dara Tavar  
**

* * *

**A Place in the Sun**

Long ago, far away she'd been able to feel her love for him glowing on her face. One night was all they'd had…and it had been a night she'd never forgotten. She may have been drinking that night, but there was no way she would ever have been able to forget that night.

But it had been so long ago that…maybe she wasn't remembering everything correctly. She'd thought she'd seen love in his eyes while they were together but…could she really have seen what she thought she had?

Casey sighed. _Was it a dream?_ She asked herself. _Or was it just a promise made, one night. What is my destiny?_

She sighed once again. Her destiny was probably pinning away for someone she could never have and had never really had in the first place…except for that one night. She'd had him for one night and had been given the greatest gift she could have ever wanted.

Her son, Daniel.

Someday she would find a way to shine. To be the first person someone else thought of every morning and the last thing they thought of before going to bed. She would find a way to be the thing that mattered most in someone else's life like Derek had always been with her.

Maybe then she would be able to finally put him behind her.

She would leave these rainy days behind her then. No more wishing for someone who she would never have, no more tears over what-might-have-been's, and no more looking down at her son and wishing with all her heart that she'd had the courage to tell his father about him and attempt to involve him in their son's life just so she could be around him.

No, she knew there had to be someplace warm and bright for her. Where there were no more storm clouds to dim her day. She was running out of places she could run while looking for her place in the sun.

She turned to stare out her bedroom window at the darkness hanging overhead the city. It had been bleak all weekend and she hadn't been able to do much with Daniel. He was fast asleep, tucked away in his bed now, though.

She listened to the rain hitting the roof angrily. It was one of those nights when it seemed close to the point where angels would fear to tread out. Cold and dark, the only lights came from the buildings scattered all around.

Casey closed her eyes, smiling just a little and allowing her thought to drift to a time when she was with the man she loved. Five months ago, sitting with Derek in the airport and telling stories…it had almost been as though she'd never left with her mother.

She could only pray he would be there soon. Even if it was just for a hockey game, she wanted him to come. She would have liked it much more if he stopped by because he had never called her. Though, she'd never called him either, so she couldn't very well blame just him for their lack of communication.

She pushed thoughts of him away, squeezing her eyes closed and whispering to herself, "Someday I'll find a place to shine, leave all these rainy days behind. I know there's got to be someplace warm and bright for me." She opened her eyes to look out over the city once more. "I'm running out of places I can run, looking for a place in the sun."

There were times when it felt like the whole world was going against her. She'd fallen in love with the most popular guy at school who happened to be her new step-brother, was given a glimpse of what it was like to be loved by him even if it was only physically, then she was given a chance to grasp what had slipped through her fingers years ago…but didn't take the leap she so wished she would have.

The beaten paths that she was forced to walk down just seemed like it was another winding road, leading nowhere worth going, there to tempt her.

She was far from him and what she knew was true. Her love had always been true and she'd always thought she saw something there, something other than his acclaimed irritation and possible brotherly affection…something that had led up to their single night…she only that that was true.

She had to find her way again. She'd always known exactly what she was going to do before he came along and turned her world upside down…now she needed to get back to that, to forget everything that she'd ever felt for him.

The only question was this: how was she going to do that when he was there, in her mind, at all times?

She moved away from the window, walking through her bedroom and out into the living room to when the note from Karen was still on her corkboard. It gave the name, number, and address from a man they worked with that had been asking Casey out since she first started working at the hospital.

Maybe, just maybe, he would be the one to help her get over Derek.

"Someday I'll find a way to shine, leave all these rainy days behind. I know there's got to be someplace warm and bright for me." She told herself as she reached over to grab the phone. "I'm running out of places I can run, looking for a place in the sun."

Maybe he was the key to her finally putting Derek behind her and learning to love again. He was good looking with sandy blond hair and the bluest eyes she was sure she'd ever seen. But, when compared to the man in the back of her mind with brown hair and eyes, his obvious good looks dimmed a little.

"I'm running out of places I can run, looking of a place in the sun." she reminded herself.

She dialed the man's number, Steve, but hesitated to press the talk button. What if she couldn't get over Derek? What if Steve was no better at helping her get over him as the few other men she'd dated had been?

She glanced at the open door to Daniel's room. Could she really leave him fatherless forever? One day he would ask about why she wasn't married to his father, not that he hadn't already, but one day he wouldn't let it go when she tried distracting him…one day he was going to demand he know why he didn't know his father and why she changed the subject every time he asked about him.

"Yeah, I'm running out of place I can run…" she whispered to herself, remembering when she had run to Derek, never thinking that one day she would try running to another man because she feared what running to Derek would do to her already fragile heart.

She sighed and glanced at the number again, trying to work up the courage to press talk.

Taking a deep, fortifying breath she pressed talk and listened as the phone rang.

"Hello."

"Hi Steve…it's me, Casey." She stated, hoping she didn't sound as if she regretted calling him. She heard the surprise in his voice when he asked why she was calling; quickly adding that he didn't mind the call and had been hoping she would call him.

She almost smiled as he hastened to assure her that he'd hadn't been just sitting around waiting on a call from her though. "I was wondering if you wanted to…go out to dinner with me sometime."

When he asked why she suddenly decided to go out with him, she glanced out the kitchen window. "I'm just looking for a place in the sun…"

He laughed and soon they had everything planned, she called Karen who gladly agreed to babysit and she was left with nothing else to do but get some sleep before heading back to work tomorrow.

"Oh, won't you shine down on me sunshine?" she asked, feeling as though tomorrow was a day she would regret. She was going out with Steve and she had the feeling like it wasn't going to end the way either of them hoped it would.

SHMI looks at him as if he's discovered a secret.

SHMI  
Yes, I know.


	7. Chap7 I Can't Go There

**Sorry it's been about a month since I've updated. After I worked on the stories I did update I had no time to work on anything. I was hoping to get this down over the weekend, but wasn't home all weekend and was visiting family. I know this song is mostly sung by Kenny Chesney, but Tim McGraw sings some too. I'll try not to take so long on the next update. Enjoy!**

**Dara Tavar**

* * *

**I Can't Go There**

Derek sat in the booth at his favorite sit-down restaurant, staring blankly out the window as his thoughts swirled with memories from the past. This really wasn't his favorite restaurant, but he didn't go back there anymore.

He used to like going to a little restaurant on highway 1 that served the best key lime pie he'd ever tasted. He'd always picked one song because it was her favorite out of all the songs in the old jukebox sitting in the corner of the dimly lit room. It was by the beach and, when you walked out the side door you walked right into the sand and the sun.

They would always take their shoes off just outside the door and run barefoot in the sand, racing for the towels they'd already laid out near the water to see who could get there first. Usually, he would let her win.

He could remember sitting in the sand, the sun beating down on his back as they'd laughed and joked. He'd not cared about the possibility of getting sun burn merely because she'd wanted to build a sandcastle. And he'd only wanted to make her happy.

They'd always picked the spot where no one else went, because of all the rocks. He'd been fine with that though, happy for it to be just the wind, the rocks, the waves, and the two of them to talk quietly without being interrupted by other beach visitors. He'd always liked talking to her and being with her. He was fine with just sitting near her without talking for hours on end…not that he'd ever admitted such a thing to her.

"I can't go there," he admitted to himself. Since she'd left he'd not been able to step foot in either the restaurant or their spot on the beach. "That's just too much us."

When he went back he'd had to put up with the fact that he couldn't do there anymore and turn around and leave. It had killed him. As he'd sat there staring out over the ocean, he could almost feel her fingers brushing his arm when she'd reached out to touch him, to draw his attention to something.

There were places in his heart where he knew she'd always been that felt empty now that she wasn't there with him. Then there were the empty places in his mind that she'd always filled…that was now only filled with memories of her.

Derek still considered his bed at his father's house 'their' bed since it had been that bed when he'd been able to hold her, touch her…love her. It was empty and didn't smell anything like her anymore so, when he visited his father, he didn't even go upstairs anymore.

"I can't go there," he acknowledged, thinking about his old bedroom. It wasn't his room, it was their room…and it didn't seem right anymore now that she wasn't there to share the bed with him, even if she'd only been there one night.

His thoughts turned to their trip to San Francisco as he stared at his lonely reflection. They'd been riding in a cable car, but when she'd seen a little store and wanted to go in they'd quickly climbed off. They'd stood there staring at their reflections and laughing about how she'd wanted to look at a store full of engagement rings.

That night he'd taken her out and they'd danced the night away. There had been a party at the bay that he'd decided to take her to, the lights bright so no one fell into the water. After hours and hours of dancing they'd slipped away to wrap themselves up in a blanket and watch the sun rise slowly, content to just sit there in silence.

He couldn't go there because it was too much of them. He'd tried going back but had quickly left the town again. All he'd been able to think about was how he couldn't almost feel her there with him. Her fingers brushing his arm, her hand tugging on his, her arm wrapped around his waist…her body pressed close as they'd danced.

Those spots in his heart and head were empty, with nothing but memories to fill them. Not that he could fill them, no matter how hard he tried. He was stubborn even when fighting himself it seemed, his heart and head set on having only her no matter what argument he gave himself.

It wasn't just the empty bed at his father's house that plagued him, but also the one at his own home. A bed he couldn't fill because he couldn't stand to be with anyone else…not since the night he'd tasted her and what they could have had.

Most nights he didn't even bother to climb the steps just to sleep in a cold, empty bed anymore. He usually slept on the couch where he didn't have to think about how she could be lying beside him, warming him while they slept.

"I can't go there," he murmured…and he couldn't. He couldn't return to his cold bed at night anymore, it was killing him just to return to a quiet, lonely house every night. It weighed on him so much that he exhausted himself at practice that way when he came home all he did was fall onto the couch and pass out.

If it were only Florida or California that reminded him of her, then maybe he could move on…but it wasn't and he couldn't. Everywhere they'd been he had some impression of her, some memory of them together that haunted him and teased him with what he could have had if only he'd told her what his feelings were then and still are now.

Everywhere he went he saw something that reminded him of her, forcing him to deal with the love he still felt for her. He couldn't love again because he couldn't get near a woman without thinking about her and how happy he could have been, what he'd missed out on and what he still wanted.

By now he'd learned where he couldn't go. He'd learned the places he could safely avoid but she still haunted him. His thoughts, his choices, his dreams…she was everywhere, her dark brown hair and light blue eyes as welcoming in his head as they'd been the night they'd spent in each other's arms and the day they'd run into each other.

There were some things that he just couldn't do, places he couldn't go…but there were still reminders of her. He couldn't escape her.

He'll run into a woman who looks like her, with long dark hair and blue eyes…but he still can't go there because he knows, no matter how much the woman looks like Casey, she's not Casey, she never will be, and it's just cruel to both of them to pretend she is.

She's all he can think about when the sun shines. He'll imagine her sitting there on the beach in her favorite bathing suit, the sun glistening against the droplets of water caught in her hair as her eyes would dance with merriment at their joking and teasing.

When it was raining he would think about her dancing in it, pulling him out with her while strangers stare at them like their crazy, young…and in love. And he had been. She'd been his whole world and, even though she was gone, she was still the center of his world.

The moment he stepped into his father's house for a Christmas party he thought of her. He would remember how she rushed about the house, her cheeks flushed, with bright eyes and a grin curving her lips as she set up decorations and made the house look festive and amazing.

Even at dreaded football games, which he rarely went to, he thought of her. She'd only really went to football games when she'd been dating Max, but she'd still cheered on the teams like she did when she watched him play hockey. The only difference was that, at his games, she'd always worn one of his jersey's, but didn't for the football games.

He couldn't stand to go to any of those places anymore…he could barely stand to walk through his father's front doors without turning and leaving as memories bombarded him.

It didn't matter what season it was, it could be winter and he'd still think of her making snow angels and building snow men. Spring rolled around and he thought of her admiring the newly bidding flowers. Summer she would be tanning in the yard or going with him to the beach to go swimming. When it finally made it around to fall he could still see her piling up leaves and jumping in them.

He saw her in everything he did.

"I can't go there, that's just too much us," he whispered to himself as her thought over all the places they'd been. The amusement park, their old school, the railroad station, the old fire pit, the lake, the park down from his father's house…so many places where he'd gone with her to pass time and just to be alone with her.

"I can't go there…" he said miserably before standing up, tossing his money down on the table and leaving.


	8. Chap8 Some Things Never Change

I've not really been in a Dasey mood lately, wanting more to work on some of my other stories or to just read. A little while ago I decided it was getting close to when I needed to update and I looked back only to realize it's been a little over a month since I updated this. That put this at the top of my list and now the next chapter is completed. Hope to not take so long next time. Enjoy!

Dara Tavar

* * *

**Some Things Never Change**

Casey sat in a red leather booth, staring at the children running and laughing as they moved from game to game. Most of the other parents were either with the children, getting something to eat or drink, or sitting a couple booths down where the birthday boy's parents were sitting.

She could move down there, talk and socialize with Daniel's friends parents and make her own friends among them…but she didn't feel like it. She had her own friends, Karen and Johnny. There were also a few more people she worked with that she considered friends.

She found her son in the crowd of his preschool friends, smiling and laughing. She was glad he was having a good time.

When Steve, her sort-of boyfriend, stopped at Daniel's side to give him pointers on a game he was playing with his friends, Daniel smiled up at him and obviously thanked him for the help like the polite little boy he was before Steve turned and smiled at her before making his way back to their table.

Only Casey knew the true about Daniel's feelings toward Steve. Well, Karen and Johnny did too, but only because she talked to them about everything. Daniel liked Steve just fine, usually, but she could remember the conversation they'd had one day on the way home from school.

"_I'm not calling him daddy."_

_Casey glanced at her little boy in surprise. She'd not been expecting this from her son immediately after he'd climbed in the car. And, really, she was lost on what he was talking about. "Um, sweetie…who aren't you going to call daddy?" she asked slowly._

"_Steve. He's not my daddy and I'm not calling him the." He gave her a look that dared her to question him…and broke her heart at how much like his father he was beginning to look like. "I'm not calling him daddy," he repeated._

She laughed and told him he didn't have to. She hadn't told him that she didn't intend to marry Steve because her heart still longed for his father, though. She'd given Steve two months and her feeling still hadn't changed, she didn't want him but still wanted Derek.

She knew, in her heart, it would feel like a betrayal toward Derek if she forced their son to call another man his father.

Seven months. It had been seven months since she'd last seen him and even after all the time they'd been apart even before that she still missed him every day. She couldn't help it, couldn't move on. Every time she looked at the child they'd created one night, she knew that even while the same world sun 'round, some things never change.

Sometimes she would go out with Steve, but it never felt the same. She wanted to feel the way she had when she'd been with Derek, but it didn't seem that Steve was going to be the one to give that to her.

She knew it was unfair to him, but she still looked for a little bit of Derek in what he did. Maybe, she would tell herself, if he started to act like Derek, she might feel something for him.

With a sigh she looked away from the man sitting across from her and tried to think of a way to break up with him. She'd not had to break up with a guy in almost three years. She still loved Derek and didn't want to lead Steve on.

Some things never change; her love for Derek was proof of that.

Maybe she wouldn't break up with him though. As she thought about it, he did make her happy. And, while happy wasn't anywhere close to madly in love, perhaps happy would be alright for now.

She thought back to the night she'd held him in her arms. As her drinks had worn off and the sun had started coming up, she'd been forced awake. Headache aside, she remembered being happy just to be able to watch him sleeping.

He'd looked so happy then, dreaming while his arms had been wound around her waist, a slight smile curving his lips. She could remember studying him, trying to memorize everything before he woke up and realized what had happened.

"_I'll love you for all eternity,"_ she'd whispered into the quiet of the room. She feared the moment the words had left her lips that he'd heard her and would taunt her because of it, but the words had felt so right that she wouldn't have regretted it.

Of course, when she'd whispered those words she'd never realized how true they were going to turn out to be…or how painful. It seemed to her that she was going to be cursed with loving him for all eternity. She wouldn't mind so much if he loved her too, but since it appeared he did, she was dreading all the years to come.

Just an old love song playing on the radio or someone mentioning his name in a conversation had her heart breaking in two all over again. This was yet another piece of proof that some things never change.

Maybe someday someone else would finally set her free. Maybe if she gave him some more time, Steve could be that someone. If she just held out a little longer, maybe that someday would be soon.

Until that day, however far away it was, she would just have to live with the love she felt for him and that she was sure she would always feel. They always said 'Time heals all wounds,' yet time hadn't healed the gaping hole in her heart.

For now, she'd just keep holding on and hoping that either Derek would call her or Steve would heal that gaping hole. Though, neither of those looked like they would happen soon.

She couldn't help hoping he would come back some day, not only for her sake, but also for their child's. Daniel needed a father and, while he didn't know who Derek was, he wanted his own father and not someone else.

Derek could rest assured, whether he knew it or not, that when it came to her and her love for him, some things never change.

"Man, I'm still in love with you," she whispered quietly so Steve wouldn't hear her. The man adored her son, but neither she nor Daniel wanted him as her son's father.

With a sigh she glanced out the window, listening to Steve laugh at something Daniel had apparently done the moment she'd turned her head. "I guess some things never change," she whispered to herself. Derek had always been doing things behind her back too.

"I still love you," she whispered as she turned and looked at her son, her thoughts on the boy's father, where they would more than likely remain until he distracted her with something else since not even Steve could keep her thoughts from returning to Derek all the time.


	9. Chap9 Just to be Your Tear

**Had to update my other stories before I could work on this one again. This chapter is a flashback that Derek has...I wanted something a little different from the last chapters and came up with this. Well, I won't waste any more time. Enjoy! (kind of ironic since this has been a sad story, lol)  
**

**Dara Tavar  
**

* * *

**Just to be Your Tear**

He could never understand when Sam did what he did to Casey. It seemed like he played lost and found with her love. They were always breaking up, leaving Casey a wreck and crying for days, then getting back together for a week or two before the cycle started all over again.

Derek was sure that Sam was trying to confuse her, use her even, and that sooner or later he was going to lose Casey. There was no way she was going to be able to put up with the stuff he put her through much longer.

And the things he'd say to her. Derek just couldn't understand it. He'd said things to Casey before, but only to hide his feelings. Sam, on the other hand, just seemed to say them at times to really hurt her.

"He's always shooting down all your dreams," Derek told her as they sat in his room. Watching her as she stared out the window into the dark, he couldn't help but think Sam should know better than that. "He ought to be watching his back 'cause you know…"

Casey glanced at him when he trailed off. "You know…" she prompted quietly.

Derek scanned her face, looking for the shine in her eyes when she was happy that he loved seeing so much. After everything Sam had put her through today, he wasn't exactly surprised when he didn't fine it. But that didn't mean he had to be happy about not seeing it.

If only just for a moment he could see her looking at him with that loving shine to her eyes, he'd be satisfied for the rest of his life. And if he could touch her cheek, just reach out and run his fingers over her skin, maybe that was all he really needed to make his life complete.

"I can make you smile," he murmured, smiling just a little when she laughed in that silent way of hers. To himself, he added quietly, "If you knew that I was here, wishing I could just be your tear." When she looked back at him, he smiled just for her benefit.

Watching the way she moved to get their drinks from his desk and bring them to sit on the stand by his bed, he wondered once more why Sam couldn't find the words to tell Casey all she deserved to hear.

If he were the man in her life, she'd never have to feel unsecure about how he looked at her and how he felt about her, because he would tell her every day. Several times a day even. She wouldn't wonder about what the next day would bring with him, since he'd give her everything he could.

Derek wished he could hold her like Sam did. Yes, he held her in his arms, but there was a difference. He held her to comfort her, not to kiss her or to love her. But if he could, he was sure she'd feel it in the way he held her that he'd never leave her.

If only he could be more than just friends.

"You know…" he trailed off once more. He wanted so badly to tell her how he loved the shine in her eyes and that if, only just for a moment, she'd look at him with love in her eyes he would be satisfied. But he couldn't do it.

He wished that he could touch her cheek in more than just the comforting way he did sometimes, and to tell her that maybe the simple touch would be enough to make his life complete. But he didn't do that either.

"You know…" she prompted once more, smiling just a little.

He smiled back, unable to concentrate on his pain when she was sending him that smile he loved so much. "Cause girl, I can make you smile," he settled for saying once more.

She laughed once more, her eyes twinkling with mirth at the words he just continued to repeat.

He knew this wouldn't last. Soon she'd go to her room to sleep and he knew that then the hurt from the day would return and overwhelm her, causing the tears she'd not yet cried to overflow.

And so, to himself he once more added, '_If you know that I was here, wishing I could just be your tear.'_

He watched as she finished her drink, telling him, "Goodnight man who makes me smile," as she left the room with their empty cups.

He wanted to call her back, to tell her about his love for the shine in her eyes and how it would satisfy him to see that, or about how he wanted to touch her cheek just once knowing it was all he needed to complete his life.

"Cause girl I can make you smile…if you knew that I was here, wishing I could just be your tear.

'_Wishing I could just be your tear…'_ the words echoed in his mind. He thought about it. It would probably be the closest he ever got to her.

'_Your tear…'_ The he would be able to touch her cheek like he wanted. He could run down it, slip over her jaw, and slide down her neck. He would be able to touch her as he'd always wanted without causing a problem.

'_Your tear…'_ But if he was her tear, that meant she was crying, and he hated it when she cried. He'd never been able to stand crying women, as he's never known what to do, but even more than that was how he hated to see Casey cry because he couldn't do anything about it.

'_Your tear…'_ He thought about it once more. He could be close to her, but unable to comfort her. Yeah, maybe her tear wasn't the best thing to be.

Moving to his door, he stepped out and stared down at her from the shadowy hallway. She was telling everyone goodnight, handing out hugs and kisses where they were asked for or demanded of.

"Girl…" he whispered, his words trailing off in the deserted hall. He loved the shine in her eyes, he kiss, he smile and her touch. There wasn't a thing about her that he didn't love.

"Girl, I love the look in your eyes when you say that you need me so much," he whispered. Not when she needed him for comfort, but when she needed him because she was happy to be spending time with him and didn't want him to leave her.

One day, he'd tell her everything he loved about her.

_Present Time_

Derek stared at the picture in his hands. A picture of the woman he loved, smiling as he'd snapped the picture of her. "If only I could just be your tear…" he trailed off before reaching over to sit it back on the stand beside his bed. "Yeah, yeah…"


	10. mass update

**PLEASE READ!**

I'm sorry that this isn't a real chapter, but I needed to get this out there for everyone reading my stories.

Shortly after my last update my computer got some sort of virus. I'm not sure if it's completely gone yet, but because of it I couldn't get on the internet, at all. I couldn't do anything on my computer, half the time it either wouldn't open anything or just wouldn't turn on at all. Because of this I haven't been able to work on anything (which has driven me crazy since it's my way pf relieving stress). My dad recently "fixed" it and, though it acts up a little (I've been testing it out the last couple days with some school related topics), now I think I should be able to get my stories updated.

I'm not saying I'm going to get them all updated right away, but I'll hopefully have them all updated (and maybe some new one-shots) out there in the next week or two.

When I get the next update ready for whichever story I probably won't delete this but just put the next chapter up. I'm not sure it it will send out an email to whoever has the story on alert, so checking in every now and then might be helpful if you want to read this.

I was able to check my email and saw some requests for the next chapter in different stories, so I'm hoping to be able to get to everything soon.

Sorry for the long wait everyone, but please be patient and understand that it might take me some time (especially if my computer starts acting up once more).

Thanks for everything, not getting reviews has driven me crazy because there are days when just a quick, kind word for some of you guys just makes my day. I don't care how you look at it, but whether you praise every word I write or give some constructive criticism (though I'm not always real fond of it, lol), I love getting reviews from readers.

MTFBWY (for Star Wars fans :D )...Dara Tavar


	11. Chap10 Tear in the Rain

**Yes! First update since my computer's been finished. This makes me happy, lol. I've been waiting to be able to work on my stories and update them for too long now. Hopefully all bad luck (or blood between my computer and I, I told my friends that it was mad at me :D ) with my computer is over and we're on good terms now. Which means it shouldn't be another four-ish months before I update again.**

**Well, enjoy the update!**

**Dara Tavar  
**

* * *

**Tears in the Rain**

It was raining hard in Huston, soaking Casey as she moved quickly through the rain away from the airport. The chill from the rain was quickly seeping into her bones and she knew that soon the storm would grow even worse.

She'd rushed outside, the memories of the last time she'd been in an airport almost too heavy to bear now. She hadn't been on a plane since the night she'd left with her mom and sister to go to England, away from her home and the man she loved. She just didn't want to think about him after that, but she couldn't seem to get him off her mind, especially now.

And that was when she ran into him again.

She stopped in her tracks, staring up at him. She'd never expected to see him, not in Texas at least. She searched for conversation, but seemed to be at a loss of words now. She had always told herself that if she ever ran into him again then she would tell him about her feelings for him and of the child that she'd given birth to a few months before.

As she stared up at his surprised face, the thought of the child she'd left in her mother's care as she came to look for a place to stay, brought a cloud of tear filled memories to the front of her mind, crashing down on her.

She knew that if it hadn't been for the pouring rain she was sure that he would have seen her tears. They welled up in her eyes and spilled over onto her rain drenched cheeks. She couldn't help it, didn't want to cry at seeing him now, but just couldn't help herself.

The rain hid her pain from him; tears were covered by the rain and darkness from the cloudy sky. She wasn't sure, but she hoped to think that he would come back to her, even though he'd never truly been hers, if only he could see her cry.

She'd always been really good at keeping a straight face even as tears slid down her cheeks, that way if someone were talking to her but were unable to see the tears for some reason they would never be able to know that she was in pain for some reason.

He'd always thought that she was so strong, able to deal with pain that others such as Sam had caused her, but at the moment she couldn't help but think that he was just so wrong. No one had ever caused her as much pain as just seeing him did.

No matter what, she loved him and it caused her pain knowing he didn't love her too.

He just could see her tears in the rain. Maybe, just maybe, if he could then it would change things. Maybe he could come to love her as she did him.

"Casey…" he whispered her name quietly, almost as if he couldn't believe that she was standing in front of him. "How have you been? What…what are you doing here?"

"I'm fine," she replied in a slightly hoarse voice, forcing a small smile for him. "I came to see about a job and, if getting it is a possibility, somewhere to live too. How…how are you?" she asked quietly, gathering her courage to tell him about how she felt.

There was an announcement about a ten minute warning for anyone traveling to New York City, which seemed to pull Derek from their small talk. He looked back at her regrettably, telling her that he'd been here for a game and was off to New York tonight. He told her he'd try and call soon, giving her his new number and adding hers to his phone quickly.

After a fast hug, he hurried out of the rain and into the warm airport with barely even a glance over his shoulder at her.

She wasn't sure if it was regret over not having enough time to talk to her or what, but she hoped he regretted having to leave her so soon.

Turning away, she regretted not saying anything to him. She'd been hoping that maybe how much she loved him would just show and that she wouldn't have had to say anything and he just would have known…and would have confessed his own love for her.

She knew that hadn't been likely, but she'd had to hope.

The raindrops and the teardrops had run together, mixing on her face so that he'd not been able to see her pain. She hated that she was able to hid her pain, and that she was too afraid of him not loving her to say anything to him.

Everything could have been out in the open right there if only she'd had the courage to just step up and tell him she was in love with him and they had an infant son who was at her house in Ohio with her mother, visiting from England to see her grandson, as they spoke.

Now he would never, ever know that no one would be able to take his place, that she'd never be able to love anyone like she loved him. Oh why couldn't she just tell him how she felt?

She was sure that, if she hurried, she might be able to catch him before he got on the plane and confess all to him. But that thought of his rejection, not to mention the public humiliation it would probably come with, stopped her from even turning back to the doors he'd disappeared through moments before.

Tears welled up in her eyes again, mixing with the rain that hid her pain too well. Maybe he'd come back to her if only he could see her cry right now. If she ran through those doors, out of the rain, it would be easier for him to see them.

He thought she was so strong, but he was just so wrong. He just couldn't see her tears in the rain.

She couldn't bring herself to go after him though. He thought she was so strong, but he was so wrong. She couldn't even summon the courage to tell him that he was a father, let alone that she was in love with him. She wasn't strong, but maybe she could be if he show some love for her.

**_Present Time_**

Casey thought back to when she'd run into Derek in that airport, so soon after giving birth to their child. She'd been an emotional wreck that day, not at all like the calm woman she'd been when she'd run into him nine months before. She almost wished she'd been that emotional wreck then, maybe he would have realized her feelings for him.

She thought about it some more as she glanced in on her sleeping son before heading out to the living room where Steve sat watching TV. She had yet to break up with him, but she knew that inevitable day was getting close and closer, the dread of the oncoming conversation consuming her at some times.

At others, she was barely even aware of the man's presence, thinking back to times when it had been Derek at her side.

Too bad he just couldn't see her tears in the rain.


	12. alert!

**This is a massive update for anyone reading my stories:**

**It was recently brought to my attention that someone had stolen one of my stories and, only making the smallest amount of changes possible, was passing it off on their own. I alerted the site to this plagiarism, but so far nothing has been done. The other author updated their story recently, telling me that the site has so far done nothing concerning this problem. If nothing is done about this within the next few weeks, I've come to the decision that I will delete my account on here and never again put anything on this website.**

**To anyone who still wishes to read what I write, I will happily accept a message with an email or even if you just want to give me your profile url and I'll be happy to continue writing elsewhere and send you the link where you can find my stories as long as no one steals my stuff to post it on here (if there are any particular kind of stories, a certain movie or book, tell me and I'll message you whenever I write something to do with it). If I find out something like that happens, I'll be done writing online for sure.**

**I hope this matter is resolved, because I love writing on here and getting reviews, I only wish I got more. ****I get author alerts or story alerts, but I would love more reviews. In reality, reviews only trickle in little by little and while it's nice to be put on someone's alert list, that doesn't tell me how I'm going or give me anything to think about doing for the next chapters. If you like my stories, please REVIEW and tell me how much you like them, things you want me to do, suggestions for a spin-off story(or stories)...anything will be fine.**

**Well, lets just hope this gets fixed.**

**Dara Tavar  
**


	13. Chap11 Forget About Us

**To anyone out there still wanting to help out about someone plagiarizing my story, I can message you the details as long as you ask. The other author recently revised the chapter she stole from me, but for the most part it looks like it's still the same. I don't want this happening to anyone else and, by a comment she made, the author makes me think that this may have happened before-so I'm wondering if she stole someone else's stories. This could happen to anyone, so lets ban together and fix the problem!  
**

**Well that's enough from me...I've not posted much in too long and don't want to keep you waiting any more (but know I'll be updating other stories and putting out more one-shots soon). Enjoy!**

**DT****  
**

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**Forget About Us**

Derek pulled the door closed behind him, locking it before twisting the knob to double check. With a nod, he turned away and walked to the dark colored car waiting in his driveway. Clicking the small button on his keys, he unlocked the car door and climbed in.

He was planning on driving to the river that night. It was over an hour's drive out of the city, but he didn't care. He wanted to go out to the river and find a quiet spot to sit and think. He would turn on the parking lights so it wouldn't be completely dark and sit there, staring out at the quietly rushing water, thinking everything over.

It had been ten months now since he'd last seen Casey, and he still couldn't get her off his mind. Even after the years they'd been apart, he'd never been able to forget about her, but now she was constantly there.

He'd go buy some beers so that when he got to the river he could drink them and try to catch a buzz. He wasn't sure how many it would take, but he was determined to not remember what happened out there on that riverside when he woke up the next morning. Well, he at least wanted it to be a fuzzy, drink-hazed memory if not completely gone.

He'd turn the radio up so he didn't have to be in the car to hear it. No one else would be around, so he had no reason to keep himself quiet. In all reality, the spot he was imagining was so deserted that he could scream his head off and no one would hear him.

'_And then I'll forget about us.'_ Derek thought as he drove down the road, thoughts lost on Casey and the very short relationship they'd had together.

Once there, he would lie down on the hood of his car and make another wish upon a falling star. He would wish to be free of her, of the gypsy that put a binding love spell on him. He was ready to be free of Casey, to stop pinning for her when he knew he could never have her.

He would think again about the way it was, about how they'd been that drunken night when they were younger. They'd both claimed to love one another, but he knew she'd only been saying that because she'd been so drunk and had wanted to sleep with him. He, on the other hand, hadn't been drunk enough to say something like that without meaning it. And he'd meant every word. Every vow of love he'd whispered on that passionate night had been real, from his heart.

'_I'm gonna close my eyes and forget about us,'_ Derek vowed to himself.

It wasn't going to be easy, forgetting a woman like Casey. She had a way of getting under his skin, of digging herself in there so deeply that he couldn't reach her without hurting himself. But he had a plan, he was just going to let him memory let go of her hand.

He would miss her touch. While he hadn't felt it in a while, he knew he must forget about the "us" that never really existed between them. One night of passion and some drunken promises were nothing to claim there was an "us" over.

When the morning sun burned across his face, since he planned on sleeping either in or on his car or possibly on the ground by his car, he would pull his shirt back on and walk away. He'd leave his car there until he eventually returned to pick it up.

He'd climb his frame on a Greyhound bus and take a little blue pill his friend Kyle had given to him. The other hockey player said he got them for injuries on the ice, it helped him forget the pain, and if Derek needed them for anything he could take one himself.

Derek may not have gotten hurt on the rink, but he'd taken one of Kyle's little blue pills. He was in another sort of pain, one caused by pinning after a woman who didn't love him and had a son. Maybe this pill would help him forget her though.

'_I know it won't be easy, but I've got a plan,'_ he thought. He would just let his memory let go of her hand, let those thoughts of her just slip away. Maybe then his life would be better. Maybe then he could date without comparing the girl to her, and finding them lacking.

He would miss her touch. He had never forgotten it, the way her fingers felt on his skin, but he knew that he had to forget about the "us" that had never existed. It never would exist and he needed to get over his infatuation with Casey.

By the time that bus reached Phoenix, he wouldn't even remember her name. He wouldn't remember those soft blue eyes he'd fallen in love with. He wouldn't remember her warm skin and the way it felt under the palms of his hands. But he really wouldn't remember the way she said "Good morning," in a husky voice with sleepy eyes.

Derek stared at the twenty-four hour store, shaking his head. "I'll be alright," he murmured to himself as he backed away, pushing thoughts of the river away. He didn't need to forget Casey that way. He would find some other way.

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**I know this was a short chapter, but I promise the next one will be longer. There will only be two chapters after this, 11 months and 1 year-and I actually wrote those before so I should be posting them very soon.**

**DT**


	14. Chap12 Why We Said Goodbye

**Well, here's the next chapter. Casey, eleven months. Yes, still unhappy, but I promise the story won't be like that much longer. There's one chapter left and it will end on a happy note. Well, now that I've gotten that out of the way, here's the chapter. Enjoy(in a way, :) )!**

**DT**

* * *

**Why We Said Goodbye**

It had been a eleven months since Casey had last seen Derek…and she'd known they wouldn't keep in touch, but she'd hoped that maybe, just maybe, he'd call her. But he never had…and she'd given up hope.

Casey glanced out the car window, looking at the small, brick building with a group of kids standing out front. She had her arm propped up where the window was rolled down with her hand in a loose fist and her chin on the back of her wrist. She looked for her son in the throng of children who started to run from the teachers standing by the schools doors. Some headed for the two buses, others headed to find their parents.

Daniel was one of the last, walking calmly from the school and towards the cars parked out front. When he looked up and spotted her he didn't smile as usual, but looked confused. He glanced around at the other cars, looking at the other parents…mothers, fathers, sometimes both.

When he opened the door and climbed in Casey reached over to brush her fingers across his cheek and ruffle his hair lovingly. "How was school, sweetheart?" she asked pleasantly. She knew that it had been hard for him to adjust, having gone to preschool back in New York before they'd moved to a small town just outside Toronto.

Daniel was quiet for a moment. "Mommy…I have a question." He finally said, very quietly.

Casey started the car and went to pull away from the curb. "And what would that be?" she asked, sending him a smile. This was one of those rare moments when he acted like her. He was usually more like his father.

"Why don't I have a daddy?"

Casey stiffened and glanced at him. "Who told you that you don't have a daddy?" she asked sharply, putting the car back into park and turning to look at him.

Daniel shrugged. "Mickey was saying something today about his daddy during recess and then he told me I didn't have one. I just want to know why everyone else gets a daddy and I don't." When he looked up at her, his eyes were filled with tears.

Casey unsnapped her seatbelt and leaned over to hug him. "Of course you have a daddy, honey." She whispered soothingly. She pulled back to look down at him. "Don't you let anyone tell you that you don't have a father. If they knew who your father was, they'd all be jealous of you anyways."

Daniel frowned. "But why would they be jealous Mommy?" he asked, tilting his head to the side a little.

In that moment, he looked so much like his father that it nearly broke her heart all over again. His azure blue eyes had turned to a chocolate brown and his brown hair had gotten a little lighter as he'd grow. He smirked when he got his way, charmed his way out of any of the trouble he was constantly getting in, and already he was becoming a heartbreaker like his father. He wasn't old enough to be a womanizing cad like his father, but she knew, just knew, that he would turn out that way.

Casey smiled sadly. "They would be jealous because everyone knows your father's name. He's loved by all here around Toronto…and wanted by all in other cities."

Daniel frowned in thought. "But who is he? Why do they know his name?" he asked, looking perplexed.

Casey sighed, looking at her son and thinking again about how he was starting to look so much like his father. "I'll tell you when you're older." She said, the exact same thing that she'd always said when someone asked if she would tell him who his father was.

No one knew who Daniel's father was, not even his father. Only Casey knew that…but not for long. She knew that soon people would start to see the resemblance in them, and eventually it would get around to him. She wondered what he would think if he knew she'd gotten pregnant on that fateful night when she was eighteen.

"You stay here…I need to talk to your teacher for a moment." She told him, ruffling his hair that always seemed to be a mess anyways…just like his father's always had.

He smiled his father's smile and turned to the handheld game boy he carried in his book bag.

Casey got out of the car and crossed the street, walking up to Daniel's teacher. "Excuse me, Sarah." She called out, catching the older woman off guard. She smiled as the older woman walked over to her. "I'm sorry to interrupt you…but Daniel told me something that bothered me…something that one of the other students said to him."

Mrs. Weldon nodded. She was about fifty now, with graying hair and grayer eyes, she had a plump figure and a kind disposition, unless you go on her nerves constantly. "Anything, my dear. Daniel's a sweet child…although, he gets into trouble sometimes, especially when the girls are concerned." She teased, smiling widely as she hugged Casey.

Casey smiled a little sadly. "Yes well, he gets that from his father." She stated quietly before moving on. "Speaking of his father…Mickey apparently told him that he didn't have one. It upset Daniel terribly and he asked me why everyone else gets a father, but he doesn't. I don't want him upset if Mickey says something else…so I was wondering if you could talk to Mickey or his parents about this."

Sarah scowled. "That Mickey! I tell you, he gets into even more trouble that your boy! He's always saying something that will upset the other children. It looks like his parents are coming in for another conference…and they're no nicer than Mickey. Dreadful people." She muttered, shaking her head.

Casey smiled at her. "Thank you. I know it's not a thrill to have to deal with them…when they come in for checkups they think they should be put ahead of everyone else." She replied, referring to her career as a doctor.

Sarah looked a little uncomfortable. "I don't know if I'll be able to get through to them. You know how strict they are. And as you are an unwed mother…" she trailed off, shaking her head slowly. "It's not right to treat you the way they do."

Casey smiled bitterly. "I'm hardly the only unwed mother in this world though." She knew perfectly well how the Hilton's could be. They looked down on anyone and everyone…but they especially looked down on her. As she was not wed, nor would she say who Daniel's father was, they thought of her as lower than they thought of everyone else…and they put everyone else around a bug's category.

"I know you don't want to tell anyone who his father is…but maybe if you would, they would leave you alone." Sarah Weldon stated, just trying to help her out some. She was one of the only people in their little town who actually treated her decently. Oh, they were civil with her, but nothing more than that. She knew that none of them approved of her.

Casey shook her head and glanced back at where Daniel still sat in the car playing his game. "I couldn't do that to him." She told the teacher quietly, turning back to her. "He would never be left alone."

Sarah frowned. "Why would they never leave him alone? Is his father a murderer, hated by all?" she asked in confusion.

Casey laughed quietly. "The opposite actually. He's a famous hockey player. I knew even back in high school that he would do great." She sighed sadly and glanced at Daniel again. "I guess that people will find out soon enough though…he's acted like his father from the cradle, and now he's starting to look like him."

Sarah blinked rapidly. But before she could say anything, Casey's pager went off. "Shoot! I have to go into work…emergency." She looked back up at her. "Would you mind watching Daniel until I get off?" she asked. Sarah and her husband frequently watched Daniel when Casey was called into work.

Sarah smiled. "Of course, you know how much I love that little boy of yours, and Phil will be more than happy when I bring him home. We always wanted kids…but could never have any. You know Phil and I think of him as our own grandchild and you as a daughter." She leaned forward to kiss her cheek. "Tell him to come on and you go to work."

Casey walked over to the car. "Daniel, you have to go with Sarah…I've been called into work." She told him as she leaned down to look into the car.

Daniel nodded, climbing out of the car. He hugged her before running toward Sarah. "Mamaw!" he called, using the name she'd always called her grandmother. "Can we make some cookies today before I watch hockey with Papaw?" he asked, looking up at her and grinning.

Sarah nodded, murmuring something to him before holding out her hand. Daniel took it before waving to his mother and walking to Sarah's car.

Casey climbed into her own car and started on her way, trying to think of what she and Daniel would do when she got home, since Sarah would help him with his homework so they could have time together…

But all she could think of was Derek. She remembered back to the times they would walk along the lake's beach on Sunday mornings before heading to a small breakfast place with old, red vinyl seats. She remembered the hours of tide charts and thinking of how the sunlight seemed to just light up his face.

She remembered going on that antique rollercoaster he'd just had to ride, and how he would always laugh at the terror in her eyes…or so he claimed that was what it was, though she'd been more than just a little afraid of the thing. She remembered the color and the detail as if it were just yesterday that she'd been there.

Then there was the night that her father had died, he'd held her all night long. She'd not had to say anything to let him know how she'd felt, he'd just know. He'd let her sit in his room with him, and she'd just broke down and cried.

He was sewn into her whole life, every aspect of it, she could see his influence. There was one thing that always bothered her though, one thing she couldn't remember: why they'd said goodbye.

She drove along, glancing out the window to see lonely people sitting on benches, looking as bad as she felt. She knew that they'd never been perfect even though they'd never actually dated, but nothing ever is in this world. These people were searching for someone…just like the sails on that lake had been searching for the wind.

Casey pulled out her cell phone and glanced down at Derek's number, having programmed it in when he'd given it to her almost a year ago. It was set as her number two on speed dial…and she called it.

His voice mail picked up, saying that if he wasn't answering, he was at practice or a game and to leave a message. "Hi Derek, it's me Casey…I just had to call you." She stopped. _'I just had to hear you voice. I need to tell you that I still love you and we have a choice in this, we don't have to give up on each other…we can make it if we try.'_ She wanted to say…but knew she couldn't. "We said we'd stay in contact, and we didn't." she said with a self-conscious laugh. "Well, I've got to go…I'm on my way to the hospital now. Bye!"

She hung up the phone and groaned. What had she been thinking? She couldn't just call him up and confess everything she'd kept from him. Though she had hoped that when she'd shown him Daniel's picture all those months ago he would realize…No, she wouldn't dwell on that, not now.

He was there, in everything about her life. She'd decided to become a doctor because he'd always been getting hurt, she lived here because he'd moved back to Toronto, and Daniel…was Daniel. But out of everything that she could remember, she couldn't remember why they'd said goodbye.

Everything she did, somehow brought her back to him…she just couldn't let him go. She knew there'd been a reason she'd never called him…but she just couldn't remember why anymore. She'd had a good enough reason to call him. She knew if she could hold him in her arms, they'd be able to work everything out.

Everything in her life, he had an influence in, he was the reason behind all of her decisions. Would he like this…would he like that….what would Derek think if I wore this…?

She pulled out her phone. _Let's give us one more try, because for the life of me I can't remember why we ever said goodbye._ She typed in. She held her finger over the send button…but then moved it to the end button…and pressed it twice before closing the phone.

She couldn't remember why they'd said goodbye…but she didn't have the courage to get him back. Besides, she'd only had him for one night…and while she'd given him the one thing she'd valued most other than her heart, he'd given her…well, he'd given her something, or rather, _someone_ she couldn't live without or give back.

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**Well, there's only one more chapter left and I finished it up tonight. I'll post it tomorrow and, I promise, this story is getting a heppy ending to all those who (as I have been in writing this story, but it was the original idea for it) have been sadden by the chapters. It started sad and I figured I should continue with that until the very end. The next chapter is a happier one, I promise...and tomorrow you will be getting it.  
**

**DT**


	15. Chap13 Eyes of a Woman

**Well, here's the last chapter. I said the last one would be happy, and so Derek and Casey meet again after one year. I don't want to say anything else except for "Thanks for the reviews!" Enjoy!**

**DT**

* * *

**Eyes of a Woman**

He was rough…he was tough. Everyone knew it.

He drank his whiskey straight, and he never drank anything else. He drank to ease the pain…from all his fighting, and from missing her. He'd never called her back, and it had been two months since that call...she'd not called back again.

He'd fight every night if he couldn't have his way. If the referee called a stupid call, Derek would start yelling. If the ref was calling for the other team, to help them, Derek would start fighting.

He remembered how kind Casey had always been, how she could always find the good in someone, even if they couldn't see it themselves…but he wondered if even she would be able to find any good in him now. Allowing her to walk away again had taken its toll on him.

He'd not been able to even touch another woman after seeing her that day at the airport. She was there, in his mind, whispering, _"You could have had me…but you walked away."_

Derek went to his game, thinking that there would be nothing different about this game than there had any of the others…how wrong he'd been. He played as he always did, leading his team to victory. But, strangely, he didn't yell all that much. The only yelling he did was to cheer on his team mates. He felt like there was a comforting presence there, calming him in ways that no one had ever been able to do…no one but Casey.

At the end of the game the team had showered and Derek was walking with them, when he felt that presence again.

"Hey, D…we were wondering if you wanted to go out and party with us tonight. We know you like going home to your bottle of whiskey and empty bed…but there's willing women out there that'll just throw themselves at you…your bed don't have to be a cold one you know. Since that trip to see your family last year you've not touched a woman." One of his friends, Kyle, said as he walked beside him.

Derek sent him a half smile. "Sorry guys, but I think I'll stick with going home. The only woman I ever wanted would probably spit on me before she just threw herself at me. I've not wanted a woman to throw herself at me since I met her."

"So, I finally got to see _The_ Derek Venturi play hockey…and not on TV this time." A feminine voice came from behind all of them.

Derek froze. It wasn't possible…she was here, again. He turned around to see her standing there, hands on her hips and a smile curving her lips. Her hair was pulled back, but a few stands had fallen around her face. She wore a pair of jeans and a v-cut blue t-shirt that hugged her in all the right places…just like her jeans.

Kyle placed a hand over his heart dramatically. "I think I'm in love guys!" he exclaimed, looking Casey up and down.

Casey's eyes flicked to the other man, and then glanced at Derek, raising an eyebrow, before looking back to Kyle. "I'm sorry," she began. "But someone already owns my heart." She explained gently, as though she were trying to let him down gently.

Kyle glanced at Derek, raising a questioning eyebrow. Derek merely sent the other man a glare. "It's not our Derek, the lady killer here is it?" he asked teasingly.

Casey sent him a sweet smile, shaking her head. "Nope. But he is the most beautiful thing I think I've ever seen. He has brown eyes, brown hair, a smile that could give even the mighty Derek here a run for his money…and he only has eyes for me right now." She told them all before putting in, "And he's only six years old."

Kyle's eyes went wide and a grin spread across his face. He turned to look at the others in their group. "Did you hear that boys? She loves a six year old! She like them young doesn't she?" he asked laughingly before turning back to Casey.

Derek elbowed him in the ribs, glaring at him. "She's talking about her son you moron!" he exclaimed.

Casey laughed her quiet laugh, smiling at him. "Of course I was talking about my son…the only man that's ever touched my heart is his father." Derek could tell that her smile was fake now, even after so long he could still tell. "So, are you just going to stand there staring at me all day or do I get a hug?" she asked.

Derek grinned, tilting his head to the side slightly. "What, are you telling me that you don't remember my no-hug policy?" he asked teasingly. "Even after all these years you must still remember that much about me."

Casey grinned at him. "I remember many things about you, Derek Venturi...and not all of them good. Now, if you don't want me telling your friends here about the time we had that mouse in the living room, you'll march over here and give me a hug…it's the least you can do after not calling me back."

Derek shook his head. "If there's one thing I remember clearly about you, you were always pure evil…no matter what anyone else thought. And I'm sorry I never called you back…I'm a very busy man."

He walked the few feet between them and pulled her into his arms, giving her a hug before pulling back to smile that charming smile at her. "Do you forgive me yet?" he asked.

Casey laughed again, smacking his arm lightly. "You know that smile doesn't work on me." She replied, shaking her head.

Derek felt reborn…he'd not felt like this since the divorce seven years ago, not including that day at the airport. When he'd seen her face, heard her say his name again…he knew he would never be the same again. He couldn't go back to how his life was when he didn't have her.

And her eyes said that she'd missed him…gave him a reason to believe that maybe, just maybe, there was at least a little hope for them still. That maybe, just maybe, he could still set things right.

Looking in her eyes, he saw the man he wanted to be…the man that came home to her every night, who would sleep with her in his arms every night, and spend the rest of his life with her. He wanted to be the man she loved and had all her children with. He wanted to show her that Daniel's father was just a memory, touched her heart or not...Derek would show her what it was like to be loved by a real man.

He'd been down before, kicked around by people who'd thought they were better than him. But recently, the world had gotten the better of him. It was as if he were out of rope, out of hope…with little hope that he would ever be able to get back on his feet. But the look she gave him said that she would take his hand, that she would give him the hope he needed to come back.

And with one look at her…it was as if he were a brand new man. He didn't want to go back to a lonely house…to a bottle of whiskey and a cold bed. He wanted her…and he wanted to do it the right way, like he should have done before.

They walked away from his teammates, telling each other about the past year and how they were doing now. She told him about the move back to Canada and he told her about his decision to stay around Toronto.

But neither said anything about their love for the other…not yet.

But in her eyes, he saw a reason to believe. By the way she watched him, he saw the man he wanted to be…a man worthy of her love.

She hadn't drove to his game, but had gotten a ride from someone she worked with who had already left while she'd told them she would stay behind. They'd had to leave early because of an emergency, but Casey had decided to stay for the rest of the game…so Derek offered to give her a ride home.

They got there, laughing and telling stories about work. He was going to walk her to the door and see if he could kiss her goodnight, as if they were in high school again and he was one of her old-fashioned dates, but she didn't go up to her house…she went next door.

"I need to get Daniel." She explained with a smile as she raised a hand to knock on the door. But suddenly she looked worried and, dropping her hand, she turned to him. "There's something I need to tell you about him Derek. I've been trying to get up the nerve to tell you, but I didn't know how you would react and I didn't want you to get upset or something, so I just kept putting it off…but I know that I can't do that anymore. I've always thought you had the right to know, I just wasn't sure how to tell you…"

Derek frowned, wondering what she could possibly have to tell him. "Just tell me, Case. It's that simple. Now, what is it?" he asked in confusion.

Cheeks flushing red with embarrassment, she cleared her throat before speaking. "I'm sorry for never telling you this…but he's your son. I'd hoped you would figure out when I showed you the picture, but…" She said it quickly, only sending him short glances as she averted her eyes, unable to look at him for too long.

Derek stared at her, stunned. "He's my…I have a…" he stammered. Finally he swallowed thickly and cleared his throat…but still, his voice was soft when he asked, "I have a son?"

Casey nodded. "I'm sorry I never told you, but it was just that I didn't know until after we were already in England…and then we lost touch…" she tailed off, shrugging. With a sigh she looked up at him. "And then last year I when we ran into each other…I didn't know if you would believe me or not if I told you that he was your son."

Derek stepped forward, taking Casey's face in his hands. A slow grin spreading across his face, he began mumbling in an excited voice, "I have a son! I have a son with the woman I love!"

Shocked, Casey began to sputter. "The woman you love?" she asked when she could finally make coherent words.

Worry creased his brow as his hands began to drop from her face. "I, uh…I can't explain, Casey." Before he could say anything else, Casey was throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him, laughing as she did so. Derek could feel the tears sliding down her cheeks as she pulled back enough to look at him.

"I love you, Derek. I've loved you from the very beginning."

A slow grin, the charming little grin that Daniel had inherited from him, spread across his face. "The only man that ever touched your heart was Daniel's father, huh?" he asked on a chuckle, slipping his arms around her waist and holding her close. "Well, we may have done this all backwards, but now that we both know we love one another, we have a child together, will you marry me Casey McDonald? I promise to buy you a ring…tomorrow."

Grinning in return, Casey gave him a hard kiss before pulling away. "Let's ask our son when he wants his mommy and daddy to get married," she replied, taking his hand as she reached up to knock on her Sarah and Phil's door, hoping the older couple, who had taken her in and treated her like the child they'd never been able to have, would like the new adopted son-in-law they were going to get.

Derek had found his inspiration again. With just one look, he found his salvation. And he vowed that he wouldn't let her go this time.


End file.
